#jorgensenwedding2015 or the wedding that almost wasn't:

It's about 9am on August 17th, and two days ago I got to marry my best friend with some amazing people there to see it. If you just look at the wedding photos, it probably looks like a regular wedding; the normal amount of stress and nerves when two people invite all of their friends and family to witness their marriage. For the wedding team we assembled, it was only about 6000 times more active and stressful than that. 

In April of 2014 when Lars and I booked the venue, we knew we could have some fires in the area. I've been visiting Chelan every year in the summer since before I was born and I was aware of the dry and dusty conditions. However, it was our dream wedding location and even if there was a fire, we didn't think it would impact the wedding. Our venue owner in Manson was very confident that the weather would be in our favor, and so were we. 

Weeks before the wedding, the Wolverine Fire was all over the news. 30,000 acres huge and no signs of stopping, I began to worry that the smoke would travel down the lake and make it hard to breathe for our guests. The Friday before we left our venue owner emailed to say that everything was normal where he was. Some smoke present in the day, but around 3pm the wind would blow it away and everything looked great. The Wolverine Fire was and is very far north and on the other side of the lake from the venue, and no one seemed to have any concern that it would reach us. I took some breaths and began packing for the week of vacation, trying to tell myself that people who live in Chelan know better than I do. 

Lars and I decided to front load wedding week, meaning instead of taking vacation after the wedding we took the week before it off. We rented a beautiful and spacious house on the Columbia River in Orando for all of our wedding party to gather. We had people from Denver, St. Louis, Philadelphia, Half Moon Bay and good ol Seattle all breaking their necks to be there, and I could never be more thankful. It was truly some of the best days I've ever had. #teambride has seriously the most amazing people I've ever known. We laughed, we drank, we drank some more and we just caught up with each other. 

We went into town on Thursday to play putt-putt and swim and catch up with some friends who came into town early for the wedding. A little hazy in the air but overall still hot and sunny. Weather wise, things seemed to be looking up. 

Friday morning I wanted to take my photographer Joya and newly crowned assistant Katie to brunch at one of my favorite places in Manson, Blueberry Hills. I stop in Chelan to fill the car with gas, and directly across from me on the hill is a line of rolling flames, heading down the hill towards businesses and homes. I call Lars immediately to give an update, I send a picture. I go into the Safeway to pay for the 100 cupcakes to be picked up the next day and I call my dad to tell him what I'm seeing directly across from me on the hill. The flames look small, everything will be fine; I try to tell myself as I drive to brunch. 

We have brunch, we make jokes about the flames and obvious wedding themes I'm missing, and we reassure me that it's going to be fine. I head home. 

The flames are still moving and have no intention of shrinking in size. I get home and I jump right into bed to cry to Lars "This wedding is going to be so bad." The smoke would surely bother people, and that would be the talking point at every table, and ultimately it was MY fault for gathering everyone in the middle of a fire. I get up from my nap, run into my Woman Of Honor Beth's room and sob about the Chelan Butte Fire that might stop this wedding. Of course, she says calmly that everything is going to be okay. 

My family comes to see the house, I cry more. They know I'm stressed about the fire and I'm a perfectionist with a side of OCD and all I want is everything to go off without a hitch. They tell me to relax, and so I try. 

We leave the house at 2pm to arrive at the venue at 3pm for photos and a rehearsal and some dinner. To get to Chelan, we had been driving through Chelan Falls, a smaller highway that took us 20 minutes to get to town as opposed to driving all the way back to Wenatchee and up the other side of the river which takes 1+ hour to get to Chelan. We pile in and head out, and upon coming into town we are engulfed in huge black smoke; the Chelan Butte fire had grown massively since the morning, and was now visible driving through town down backstreets and unbelievably close to homes and businesses. I spent most of the drive to Manson looking out the window and saying "oh no no no no no"
Chelan was covered in flames and smoke. 

We got to the venue. #teambride says "We are here now, so lets just worry about one thing at at time. Get your dress on and lets take some photos!" Despite my actual crippling fear, I did. We took some beautiful photos. I can't even wait to see them. We finished our photos around 5 and began to gather everyone for a rehearsal of the wedding. I take a moment and look back towards town. Across the lake from us, near Lake Chelan State Park another large cloud of black smoke, signaling another fire was moving up into the air around us. We find the venue owner who informs us that all of the valley has lost power. We have no power. The fire was now called "The Reach Complex" and had flare ups on every side of the lake. We were going to make the best of it, and continued with the rehearsal. 

We did two run through's, my dad forgot to come back up the aisle and get me, and we all laughed. We ate dinner and I tried not to panic. We were going to have a wedding tomorrow, and that was it. 

We cleaned up and got out of the venue before we couldn't use the daylight to see anymore. As a preventative action we left all of our formal wear at the venue. We head home, all in silence listening to the radio tell us what roads are closed and what we need to do. We hear our back road is open, so we head that way to see if we can sneak through the flames. 

Downtown chelan is covered in a thick smoke. Our back road is closed, and I see flames behind peoples homes, getting ready to engulf them. We drive towards the other side of town, to get back to Wenatchee to drive up the other side of the river to get to Orando. We pass the waterslide park only to see a huge row of flames on top of it. We pull over to make sure all of our cars are together and everyone is safe. Directly across the two-lane road, flames are burning towards me. We are standing directly across from a huge destructive fire. We need to get out of town, so we all pile back into the cars and head towards Wenatchee. Anne has taken over driving as I'm having a meltdown. We ride in silence. 

We finally get through Wenatchee and over to the other side of the river, anticipating an arrival home where we can all be together and all be safe, and there's a road block. Road closed, miles before our house. We pull over at a gas station right next to the blockade and I jump out of the car, almost immediately crying and call Lars to tell him "we can't get home." Passersby getting gas tell two of us that "Everything is gone, you can't get through" but Beth and Anne decide to run up and ask the blockade men themselves what's happening. They arrive back to the car to say "get in we are going through"

The fire is no where near the house, but they are trying to limit traffic who want to get to the end of this highway and turn around. The bridge is unsafe, the fire was moved and no one can go that far on the road. We make it to the blockade, tell them where we live and hand them a huge plate of cupcakes. The firefighter smiles and is friendly and helpful. We trek home. 

We finally all make it home, Friday night, the night of my 24th birthday and I am dead on the inside. I get a call from friends staying in town. They've been evacuated and need a place to stay, I tell them to get their butts over here, as the more people around, the better we all feel. Other friends went back to the westside entirely, barely escaping the fire. 

They arrive, share videos of trying to buy beer in a pitch black safeway, and we laugh. We all feel as though we've just escaped the end of the world. We fill jugs with water in case we need to leave, we all charge our cell phones. We are all here, we are all safe, and tomorrow is a new day.

I get in bed. Lars says "In the morning, it will be better." I'm skeptical. My parents have no power. No cell phone service in town except verizon. Telephone poles have been destroyed, no way of getting in touch with anyone except my dad. I try to convince myself that tomorrow the fires will be done. We will still get married tomorrow as planned. 

I wake up on 8/15/15, our wedding day at 9am. Roads are still closed, evacuations still happening, no power in the valley. I wake Lars up, "we might need to move the venue" I say casually, as he looks like I just told him we should go to the moon. "I just think it would be easier to stop guests at Wenatchee than to try to get them all into the smoke ridden valley that has no power." I call a favorite destination in Wenatchee to just see if they have availability to have a wedding. They already have one booked, another couple in the same position. I check roads again, the back up way out of town is now in jeopardy, opening and closing periodically. 

Before I know it, the wedding party team is fully assembled and calling venues all over Wenatchee trying to find a place to host us. We've got 3 "I'm ready right now" locations, and after looking at photos and hearing about the couple who owns it, we decide on Warm Springs Inn and Winery. They are ready when we are. We officially decide to spread the word. Phones are being passed from ear to ear, talking to our DJ, the venue, our parents, our friends. 

Moments after deciding, an earlier email comes through, our caterer is pulling out- the air quality is too bad to get anyone out there. They arrived at the venue at 730 am to begin cooking- no one was there. We call back and explain that no one would have been there at 730 even if we were getting married there, we couldn't be at the venue until 10 at the earliest, and there was no onsite cooking; both things we had explained many times before this day. He says he is heading back to Everett, even though is business was, according to the info we were given, based out of Wenatchee. Beth gives him the new location and we assume he's handling it.

We pack up, finish painting signs, send our two friends who are just wedding guests to be the first ones at the venue to set up. Our old venue owner drives our clothes into town, finds all of our parents (who have no phone service so we can't reach them) to tell them what's going on. An unbelievably nice and courteous thing to do, as we were no longer his problem. 

We get to the venue, skyped with Kiro 7. Julie and Warm Springs staff were the saving grace of the day and words could never express how thankful I am to them and their help. They saved my wedding, and I will forever be thankful. 

Pushed the wedding back to 530, some guests made it to the old venue, but had time to turn around and make it to the new ceremony. I don't puke or cry through my vows, but do cry as my dad says "this is the last time I get to say I love you Ms. Hines" as he walks me down the aisle. 

Food arrived, nothing like we ordered, no plates or silverware, 1 keg of sugary cider but we all ate. 

Q13 wants an interview, Lars and I again express gratitude for the Inn, and how thankful we are we made it here. 

We danced our butts off, we cleaned up and we got back to our house, to celebrate what we all just pulled off. 

The entire #jorgensenwedding2015 wedding party was amazing and gracious, but I have to give a special shout out to #teambride because, lets be honest, I needed more help than Lars did. Mark, Mark, Ryan and Jordan: Lars loves you all so much. I love you all so much. I'm so glad you were all there to share this day with us and keep Lars cool as a cucumber. You are wonderful people. 

Anne, my future doctor is an amazing person. Cooking for me to make sure I don't pass out, calmly telling me everything is going to be okay, I really love her so much. I'm so thankful for all of her help this week. 

Joshua, my baby brother showed up with my favorite drink, a new favorite cup and was ready to paint at the last second to get ready for this wedding. What a gentle and loving person I am so lucky to know. 

Renee, my little flower, was always there to calm me down. Also cooking for me, running around town getting last minute shit, and painting chimp portraits until we had to leave for the actual wedding. She spent most of that wedding crying, but she made it. And I love her. 

Kraigles my baby boy was EARLY to leave on monday morning for a week of drinking. He rolls with literally anything you throw at him and I could never have gotten married without him up there with me. 

And Beth, my right hand woman. I literally would be dead without you. You made this wedding happen. You organized everything and were a beacon of light and hope. You are such a powerful and loving woman and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I LOVE YOU. 

Many many thanks to everyone who attended the wedding, with a new location at the last minute. Your flexibility is not unnoticed, and Lars and I appreciate it. 

My mom and dad and sister who put up with all of my worries this week, you are the ones who dealt with the most. I'm so lucky to have you as my family. 

Joya and Katie, from photos to pants you two really put in some work. I adore you both, and thank you so much for capturing this day. 

Papa J- you were the perfect officiant. Thank you for caring about our wedding so much, we couldn't have done it without you.

Carl and Staff at Green's Landing- you helped so much even when we couldn't get married there. I'm eternally grateful for everything you did to make our special day a reality. Green's Landing is still a beautiful place, and one day we will return. 

Julie and everyone at Warm Springs Inn and Winery- Lars and I will be staying at the inn every year for our wedding anniversary as long as we are in the states. You are all wonderful and amazing people and I can never express in words how much your hospitality meant. You saved our wedding, and I will always be thankful. 

Jack and Ali- you did so much work and you both were just supposed to be guests! I love you, I appreciate everything you did. We are happy to return the favor at any time.

Anyone who was a part of the wedding on the day or elsewhere: Thank you for coming. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for your flexibility, and your faith in us. We love all of you, and thank you for everything you did/have done/will do. 

More pictures and thanks to come- my hands hurt. 

Love, 
The Jorgensens 
<3

Chimp Quirks and Jojo's Creeper hand.

In getting to know people I usually remember a quirk they have. Not so much hair or eye color or what they were wearing, but the way they said a word, or the way they move their eyebrows or something of that nature. I suppose it's in part thanks to my training in anthropology; to record everything as data because you never know what will be important. 

With the Cle Elum 7 it's the same way. Lars and I had overlapping shifts at the chimp house, and while watching me serve dinner Lars asked "How can you tell the difference between Annie and Foxie?" Lars is still a level 1 volunteer so his shifts consist of doing laundry, preparing enrichment and making meals and no interaction with the chimpanzees. 

I really had to think about it. The obvious answer would be that Annie is a larger bodied chimp than Foxie, Fox weighs about 90lbs and Annie weighs around 105lbs. It doesn't sound like a huge difference, but they don't wear clothes like humans so you can really see where they are slender and where they are wide. Annie has broad shoulders and has a chunk of her ear missing, and Fox is a slender little lady with a white beard. 

I had to think about it because over the past 3 years getting to know these chimps, the way I distinguish them has almost nothing to do with physical characteristics. I suppose human friendships are that way too, we start to recognize and associate people with what they like to do not what they look like. What I wanted to tell Lars was that Foxie is the musical one, the loud banging sounds her and her troll babies make are different from the bird noises Annie makes while she washes her face. Annie stands with her feet turned in more than Foxie, and is usually running around playing with Miss. But Lars couldn't know the bird noises I was talking about, at meals it's usually too loud, and Annie is more concerned with eating than washing her face. 

Jamie has a few quirks I love. For instance, when she is ready to walk around the hill, sometimes (most times) she beats me out there. As I'm running in (most times) an ill fitting pair of boots that are (most times) wet, she stomps her foot at me, as if to say "COME ON I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER." I can't help but run as fast as I can while saying "Sorry James I'm coming!" 

Jamie also has a "sweet spot" for getting upset with us, which is more than upset but not quite to feces throwing, and often it involves alfalfa cubes. Jamie will pick one up, and non-nonchalantly, as if it's an inconvenience to her, drop them out of the caging at us. Not throw, but poke them through the caging so they fall on or near us. You can almost fell her eyes roll as she seems to say "alright I guess I'll drop a little alfalfa on you." 

I know B but the laughing and stomping alone. Playing with B is genuinely one of the best times of my week, and I can't help but laugh with him when he's running around stomping and pounding on everything. 

My favorite Jody quirks have to be her "creeper" hand and her lip. Jody has very thin hands, much like Foxie and can reach through and under the caging farther than the other chimps. When Jody wants more of a certain food or wants something you have, she will stick her first three fingers through the caging and wag them up and down, almost like she's waving, but because her fingers are so skinny it's a little skeletor looking. In a good way though. Is there a good way to look like skeletor? Also, Jody has the best lips for serving. She can stick her bottom lip out so far through the caging that serving her food is almost the easiest. Missy especially is almost unsure of her full potential for her lips, so she barely sticks them through the caging or will often ask for food in her hand. Jojo just sticks her lip through and waits, and can catch just about anything. 

The picture that originated the "Creeper hand" status. Jody was sitting with her upper body under the platform and her hand just resting like this. We were all laughing at how random her positioning was. 

Missy's indifference to playing is a good quirk, and I can't help but laugh every time we play. Missy's version of playing involves you moving a great distance, often through doors or up and down stairs while she moves a foot or two. She laughs occasionally but is mostly stone faced while playing, which also makes it hard not to laugh. 

And of course, Queen Neg. As I've said before, Negra is usually napping. Unless it's meal time. I love when it's between 4-415 and Negra comes to the corner of the chimp enclosure where they can see into the kitchen, and she just starts clapping. Her way of saying "It's time for dinner now! I'm ready now!" It's like an alarm you can never forget to set. 

Each of the chimps have many more quirks and characteristics that I'm sure I'll learn more about as time goes on. I'm just so happy to know them this long, and I treasure every moment I have with them. <3

b

Hand kisses from Neg:

There are a lot of things happening in the (soon to be) Jorgensen household as of now; in case you missed it, I adopted us another child. 

Jasper was hit by a car and left on the side of the road for dead and as soon as I saw him I knew we had to adopt him. Lars will readily tell you that I would adopt every animal who needed a home if I could, and it was no surprise to anyone when I came home one day after getting my haircut and said "So I may have adopted us another child..." without asking Lars first. whoops. 

The transition, as with all introductions, has been a little rough. We are on the other side of it now I think, everyone is getting along 90% of the time with some disagreements here and there. Raleigh just wants to play with him and Butters hates everything about him. Specifically when I'm petting him and not her. I raised a sassy one.

So now in our tiny one bedroom home, we share the bed with 3 babies. Who, luckily, never all sleep on it at the same time. 

Also, we are less than 2 months from #jorgensenwedding2015! HOLY POOOOOP. And I can feel the anxiety rising, let me tell you what. Not so much for the actual day itself, I've been waiting to marry Lars for almost a decade now but the details. There is so much shit to keep track of it's sincerely ridiculous. Center pieces, catering, how do we get here, where do we put this, etc. LIKE WHAT. I hate weddings. Seriously. I've said it from the beginning- a money pit. An industry designed to put you in debt for a 8 hour event.  *eyeroll* What I'm trying to say is, hire a fricken wedding planner. Spend the money. I wish I would have.  Now I'm drawing some wedding ground plans, getting centerpieces made and NOT DIETING TO FIT IN MY DRESS. because that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 

BUT I AM EXCITED THO. I'm excited to spend a week with my dearest friends before hand, in the most beautiful place in WA, getting ready for an amazing day of love! All those pesky details are trying to distract me! turds. 

Lars and I are having a CSNW/Tanzania inspired wedding, thanks to the Cle Elum 7 and our approaching travels. The only redeeming quality of being bogged down by details- at least they are chimp focused! 

This week, a truly remarkable feat happened that has resulted in "June 22- Becca and Neggie BFFL day." 

I wouldn't say that Neg and I have a complicated history, more of a small one. Negra isn't one to play chase or hand tickle. If you walked into the sanctuary on any given day, you'd probably find her in her spot on the catwalk under the window napping in her nest. It's her home, so she can do what she wants. The few times Negra moves quickly is when a meal is about to happen. After the meal she heads right back to her nesting position. Not a bad way to live, I must say. 

I came in on Monday morning and did my usual rounds. A quick "good morning" to all the chimps. Usually I only get to see B and James, as they are inside watching who is in the human area. Jamie will start to groom my boots, and we get so wrapped up in that that I don't get to see everyone else until breakfast. Monday I said a quick hello to James and went out to the greenhouse to see who was there. Foxie was laying on her back with a baby on her belly minding her own business, and I walked to the upper section of the greenhouse to find Miss Negra ready and (not so patiently) waiting for breakfast. To my shock, she stuck her lips out through the caging for a hand kiss. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening- Neg and I have had maybe 1 other contact (outside of meal interactions) in the 3 years I've been there. I sat down and said "I can have a kiss Neg?" and she continued to stick her lips out. I put the back of my hand up to the caging and got a kiss! I put my hand down, and Neg asked for another one, sticking her lips back through! I took a second kiss on the hand from her, said a very loving "thanks Neg!" and started to stand up. She then turned around and pushed her back up to the caging, asking for some grooming. Shocked, again, wondering if that's what she was actually asking for; I picked up a stick and said "okay Neg I'll groom you if you want." and sat for a few minutes picking through her hair. Then Annie came up to say hello, I said "thanks Neg!" and gave Annie some hand tickles and went to finish up getting breakfast ready. 

I ran back into the human area to tell the staff of my experience, because they also know Neg isn't giving out hand kisses for free like B does. She doesn't let people groom her that often, and a good amount of the time she will quickly threat bark and try to poke you once you start, as though she forgot that she asked for grooming, or quickly changed her mind. This was such an amazing interaction that now we have a bffl day. 

It's such a milestone to share these interactions with Negra, who in my opinion is the hardest to create a relationship with. I'm truly thankful that she is opening up to me, and understands my relationship with her is a positive and healthy one. So thankful for this experience, and I hope Neggie and I will have many more. 

I bought Jamie and I matching boots, and she was moderately impressed. In her defense, Lars was there that day and she was very invested in who he was and what he was doing. I can't really blame her though.. :) 

<3 

b

Strength and Resiliency:

If there is one thing I know to be 100% true, it's that I am strong. Stubborn, independent, impromptu, rash, whatever other words I consider to be synonyms of that word; I am strong. Physically? Well, not so much. I can lift some heavy things from time to time but my physical strength is something like a pot brownie. Powerful, but fleeting. Strong for a few hours and then pretty much useless. (Coming from a person who had marijuana filled brownies once in her life and was pretty sure I was hearing aliens, but whatevs.) My strength is a mental component, something that no one can see but I can feel. And to be perfectly honest, I stole the trait from the Cle Elum 7. 

I've learned a lot in my years with these chimps, and there are some major life lessons I've been taught that I don't think I would have learned without these guys. In particular, inner strength and resiliency. And, a purpose to live. 

I'm not going to tell you a story about a young Becca who was clinging to life, wondering why she was even born. (Although I did at one point write a run away note to my parents to say they were better off without me, lets just chalk that one up to puberty.) Depression is a very real and very serious issue and I don't think I need to explain that in much detail. I was on the verge of depression though, that I can say for sure. I had too many ideas in my head of what I wanted to do and no clear path of which one was the right one. Because of my OCD type A personality I hated the idea of just "trying some out" because "learning by failure" was absolutely not an option. I always had a plan, and deciding what to do with my life was not the time to have nothing but a blank line. 

Then, I volunteered for the first time at CSNW, and after my 3 hour shift of doing laundry, preparing meals and enrichment and making chow bags was over, I sat in my car and cried. This was it. This was what I was born to do. 

Fast forward a few years, and I am stronger and more resilient because of these 7 individuals and I am forever thankful for all they have taught, and continue to teach me. 

If resiliency could be measured, these 7 chimps would have enough to fill the Pacific Ocean. No joke, they could fill 1/3 of the planet. All of the things they've had to endure, it's amazing they are still here. If I were in their shoes I don't think I would have survived. I'm not ashamed to admit that, and if it's a trait we lost in the evolutionary line, I wish I could go back to being a chimp. 

Imagine for a moment that you are in a cage barely large enough to turn around in, separated from your friends. Being poked and prodded, knocked down for injections of who knows what, in a room with no windows. You have no choices. You do what you're told, when you're told. You eat what is given to you, or you starve.  You've never seen the sky above you. You've never touched grass with your bare feet. 

Personally, I don't think many humans could endure that kind of scenario for very long. The Cle Elum 7 did, and that resiliency and strength is one of the most important things I've learned from them. 

What truly amazes me and I'm sure many others, is that the chimps have learned to trust humans again after the terrible things they had to endure earlier in their life. They owe us nothing, and yet they willingly created friendships and bonds with the humans who work and volunteer at the sanctuary. I'm honored to call these 7 chimps some of my dearest friends and I know that these relationships wouldn't be possible without their willingness to forgive humans. Proving the point I've long been trying to make, that I enjoy a chimpanzee's company over a human. Duh. 

Here are some photos I've managed to take in past week: 

B and his toothbrush

Painting with some bamboo:

My painting of B:

If you are lucky enough to have strength and resiliency already inside of you, I hope you can help others find it. If you are still searching for it; don't give up just yet. Sometimes when you feel like you've found rock bottom, things find their way to you. Rome wasn't built in a day you know, so keep going. 

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." -Lao Tzu

-B

Missy's eyes:

It sounds a little weird to say "I love staring at Missy" but it's a true statement. 

Staring directly into a chimpanzees eyes is considered a threat, so I don't stare at her while she's looking at me, but from time to time when we are grooming or in close quarters I sneak a glance at her eyes. 

(photo from CSNW's website.)

I think all of the Cle Elum 7 are beautiful, and I make a point of telling them that every time I see them, but lately something about Missy has got me bewitched. Her brow ridge, the lines on her nose, her white patchy face, it's all beautiful. 

Yesterday (yes I know, tuesday. Not my normal day, but in an attempt to be at the chimp house more than once a week, I'm going 3 times a week!) was a weird weather day. Warm and muggy and eventually a little rainy. It was a good day to sit outside near the greenhouse while everyone (even miss Neggie!) was relaxing and grooming each other. 

I just sat on the bench above the greenhouse and took in my surroundings. Ellie the Elk was outside the chimp area in the shade relaxing and so were all the chimps. One of those afternoons where you try to take in as much of the scenery as you can, attempting to make a mental picture for later. "A perfect day at the chimp house" or some other cheesy title would probably be fitting. 

Missy approached me for grooming, presented her shoulder and we began our afternoon session. I picked up a stick and began grooming her side where she asked. Scanning the area a few times, Missy and I caught each other's eyes a few times. I would look at her and she would look away, she would look at me and I would look away, carefully trying to not offend the other. Missy turning around to glance on the hill was the perfect picture, I only wish my eyes could capture moments like it. She looked so peaceful, but alert at the same time. 

(photo from CSNW's website)

Missy and I just sat in the heat and groomed for a while. I am overwhelmed with happiness that Missy now lets me groom her. Grooming is such a social friend activity, and it means a lot that Missy has enough trust to let me do this. She kept picking and scratching at the other side of her body, and finally I said "What's going on Miss? Can I see?" and she turned around and presented the other side of her ribs, revealing a red patch of skin she was scratching. "Just a little overgroomed I think, Miss" as she settled back down for more grooming. 

This act might not sound like a huge deal, chimpanzees are intelligent and understand what you say to them. In sanctuary, these chimps are given the choice of what they want to do. In their former lives, they were kept in cages so small that they had no choice to present their side or arm or leg; they were instantly knocked out with drugs and used in whichever way their human captors needed. Missy willingly presenting her side is a sign of trust. She knows I'm just going to look and not touch. It's a big deal, to me at least. 

Thinking back to my first few shifts at CSNW I remember hardly seeing Missy. She was so fast, running out of view almost as quickly as seeing her. I remember thinking, "Missy sure is a chimp's chimp." And that much still is true, but she also does have and enjoy relationships with the humans around her. My favorite aspect of Missy play is that she makes you run and work for it- I think she enjoys watching the exercise part of the play. Her facial expression during some play looks like she is hardly enjoying it, a bluff sometimes I'm sure. 

(Photo from CSNW's blog)

Another Missy -ism I adore is her fervent head-shaking when a food is of high value. She can shake her head faster than any human I've ever seen when a high-prized food item is being served. She is quite a fan of tomatoes, and apparently mushrooms (eating in the photo).  She's a quick chimp, often running past Jamie and I while we take leisurely strolls around the hill, and I often hear her feet slapping running around the playroom with Annie or often times, Neggie. 

I admire Missy's strength, much like the other chimps, for putting up with some shitty humans in the past but also her overall strength and resilience in her new life. She is finally free to roam her large outdoor enclosure at her leisure, and does so rather quickly, and I'm so glad she has the opportunity to do so now. I'm thankful that she is letting me into her life, even if it's just to exercise me in a game of chase, or clean the dry skin and bugs from her skin. There's truly nothing better. 

Expressing emotions about animals is often frowned upon, as we are taught in school to approach things objectively. Jane Goodall received tons of shit for naming the chimps of Gombe, as she was there to study them, and all case studies should have numbers and not names (said some old dudes who bore me). But I didn't meet Missy as a "subject" or a "number" or a "case." I met her as a friend. And I sure as shit tell her all the time; I sure do love you, Miss. 

<3

B

My confident boss:

One of my favorite aspects of volunteering in the chimp house is being an observer. To many, interacting and playing with the Cle Elum 7 probably seems like the best part of being there; and while that is very fun and an amazing experience truth be told I would rather sit back and watch the chimps interact with each other. Watching how everyone reacts to Burrito doing a display, watching Annie and Missy chase each other around the playroom, watching Jamie take something a part to use certain pieces for a specific task; all of it is my favorite to watch. Often I just sit quietly on the floor and watch, take notes and just be in the chimps presence. If I walked into the chimp area looking for play every time they would probably get pretty annoyed of me really fast. If I walk into an area and the chimps are grooming and/or playing I just sit and soak it in. If someone actively walks over to me to groom or play then I'll join in, but only if a chimp is asking. 

The hardest chimp, arguably, to just observe is the boss Jamie Chimpanzee. I walk into the chimp area, quiet as a mouse, to sit in the corner and just observe what everyone is doing and 90% of the time she immediately struts (not walks, she never just walks) over to me to investigate my shoes or socks or pants, etc. 

I mean, look at this glamazon. Photo by EK @ CSNW.

Jamie spent almost a decade of her youth living with humans, so it's no wonder that she is exceptionally fascinated with what we are wearing or what projects we are working on, or that she can solve problems in a fraction of the time that some of the other chimps can. A good portion of her youth she probably watched humans doing all kinds of weird things like washing dishes or typing or trying on clothes, and I'm sure she learned a lot of her problem solving tricks in those days, if there's any positives to come from that situation.  Imagining Jamie as anyone's pet  makes my stomach hurt. This glamazon boss I'm lucky to see a few times a week belongs to no one, and if she were a human she'd probably be that one friend who kicked guys to the curb left and right because no one is good enough for her. And you would reply with a "Amen, sister." 

Jamie's confidence never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes I think what CSNW would be like without her there. Who would be the boss? I truly can't imagine any other chimpanzee at the helm of the group. I have so much love and respect for that lady, and I am so lucky to get to spend so much time with her. 

Last week I went to the chimp house on Monday and Thursday, and it's amazing to see how the chimps react to seeing someone more than once a week. Missy and I played chase for a solid 10 minutes. B and I played tug of war and chase for 20 minutes. Annie gave me a quick and wonderful hand tickle before I left. Negra and Jody are the only two I've yet to really spend time with, but they at least tolerate my existence. The relationships I have are getting stronger and more meaningful, and not just to me but to the chimps as well. Things I live for. 

I purchased a canvas and some paints today, in an attempt to paint a picture of Jamie Chimpanzee. Black and pink paint, her favorite colors of course. <3

I was going to go to the chimp house yesterday (Thursday) but after a long week of the dog being stuck inside, I made it a day for him. We went to the pet store and got some new toys, went to the park 2 times and cuddled at home. Bub spends a lot of time in his kennel when we are not home, as he has dug a hole through the bed a few times, so even though it kills me to not be at the chimp house when I have the time, I know it was a good day for bub to run and play. 

Here's to spending more time outside, purging the old and welcoming the new. 

-b

*Pans to camera* "Really?!?!"

This week has been a series of moments that left me panning to camera to say "Really?" 

Example A: I'm out and about doing errands, realizing I need red tights. As in, I wanted to wear some one day and I discovered I didn't have any. So I spend some time in the mall (on the weekend which is the worst possible time to go to any mall) trying to find some to fit my fat ass (not a self-pitying or derogatory statement, my ass is fat and I love it. Fact.) and when I finally get home I find not 1, but 3 pairs of crimson tights long lost in a drawer. 
*pans to camera* "Really?!"

Example B:  I tackle a massive laundry day, 3 loads in one day (pretty irregular for our house) and upon folding the last of the last load, Princess Butters knocks the piles off of the bed and pukes on them. Just a shirt needed re-washing, but I really didn't need to fold all those clothes again right? WRONG.
*pans to camera/Butters* "Really?" 

Example C: Raleigh had his first day at Unleashed, a kennel free boarding facility that is quite literally a god send for us. We drop him off, he runs all day, then he sleeps like an angel. Amazing. He's there for his first (and only) day and he manages to run so hard and so long that he rips up his back paw pads. Has to stay home from Unleashed for the week. 
Like, the one place he can run his little heart out and play with tons of other dogs and he manages to hurt himself. Classic Ralls.
*pans to camera* "REALLY?!?!?!" 

I'm feeling a little annoyed, at the whole week of taking 1 step forward to take 2 steps back. Specifically with the Raleigh situation because that little shit spends more time in his cone than any other dog I know. So there we were: once again in the vet's office with his little booties on making sure he didn't get an infection. *eyeroll* 

Don't get me wrong, I take Raleigh to the vet 10000 times more than I go to the doctor. Weird scab/bump on my foot? Whatever, sleep it off. Weird scab/bump on Raleigh's foot? QUICK CALL THE VET EVERYONE PANIC OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO LOSE THE FOOT. Same with Butters. Those two always get special treatment, and the same goes for any animal living/staying with me. 

One of my very favorite regulars came in to the shop at the height of this week, when Ralls had bloody feet and I knew it was going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix. She's one of those people who can say one sentence to you and completely change your entire outlook on something, and always for the better. She said "You know, that's just life. In reality, we spend more time in the chaos than we do in the perfect happy medium place. Once you find that perfect spot where everything aligns and is working, it disappears. Makes you appreciate when things are good, even if not everything is good." And I was like 
"DAMMIT YOU ARE SO RIGHT."

We do spend so much time trying to balance everything perfectly, that we miss the good things happening. Yes Raleigh is in a cone again, and his feet are ripped to shreds but he's alive, loves doggy day care and still gets to cuddle with us every night. Yes Butters puked on my clothes, but at least she feels better after that right? It's an idea that we hear all the time in music and tv to "Appreciate the little things" or "be thankful for whats going RIGHT" but something we hardly ever do in practice. Bonding in our problems is such a cultural thing, and trying to bond in positive experiences is more difficult than it sounds.  For some reason, having this woman point it out to me just really worked. Here's to truly appreciating the small things. 

Yesterday Missy and I had some good interaction time, which is always a nice treat as she mostly runs around with Annie and the other chimps. Everyone was in a grooming session in the greenhouse except for Missy and Neggie who were inside. Missy and I played a little chase, then I grabbed a scarf and we played some tug-of war. In true Missy fashion, she got the scarf and proceeded to play a game of chase again, but this time Missy moved a few feet from the playroom door to the barn doors and I had to run from the playroom doors, through the kitchen, around the outside of the chimp house to the human side of the barn doors to try to grab the scarf only to have it pulled away to the playroom doors. Somethings I  think it's Missy's way of getting me some exercise. I mean, compared to her, she probably thinks I need to lose a few pounds. 

Mondays enrichment theme was "IPad Day" where the chimps have an opportunity to play games, paint, etc on the iPad. (in a chimp protective case and through the caging of course). Jamie likes to play a mouse catching game in which you tap on the mouse as it runs around the page and it squeaks when you hit it. She is a master at this game. Yesterday, not so much. Not remotely interested in the iPad. No painting, not even the animal sounds app that she and Foxie like to listen to, nothing. I brought the iPad into the playroom and she literally stared filing her nails with a file I gave her earlier. LITERALLY FILING HER NAILS SO BORED WITH THE IPAD. Foxie just wants to grab the iPad, but we did watch some Dora the Explorer for a minute. These chimps in particular are not that enthused about playing games on the iPad. Some days are more exciting than others, and more often than not Jamie is more interested in the pictures on my cell phone than what's on the iPad. Or better yet, grooming my feet and fingernails. 

I also, by some strange miracle, found a troll doll outside the coffee shop on Sunday morning. It's hard enough to find trolls on the internets, let alone to just come across one sitting outside. I snatched it up and gave it to Miss Foxie as a gift, and we even played some troll music with it! (A game I named, where Foxie passes me her troll doll and I bang it on anything and everything that makes noise, and we bob our heads to the music.) Nothing better than enjoying a troll doll together! 

Here's to patience, letting fate take its course and remembering to be present in every moment.

<3
b