Hand kisses from Neg:

There are a lot of things happening in the (soon to be) Jorgensen household as of now; in case you missed it, I adopted us another child. 

Jasper was hit by a car and left on the side of the road for dead and as soon as I saw him I knew we had to adopt him. Lars will readily tell you that I would adopt every animal who needed a home if I could, and it was no surprise to anyone when I came home one day after getting my haircut and said "So I may have adopted us another child..." without asking Lars first. whoops. 

The transition, as with all introductions, has been a little rough. We are on the other side of it now I think, everyone is getting along 90% of the time with some disagreements here and there. Raleigh just wants to play with him and Butters hates everything about him. Specifically when I'm petting him and not her. I raised a sassy one.

So now in our tiny one bedroom home, we share the bed with 3 babies. Who, luckily, never all sleep on it at the same time. 

Also, we are less than 2 months from #jorgensenwedding2015! HOLY POOOOOP. And I can feel the anxiety rising, let me tell you what. Not so much for the actual day itself, I've been waiting to marry Lars for almost a decade now but the details. There is so much shit to keep track of it's sincerely ridiculous. Center pieces, catering, how do we get here, where do we put this, etc. LIKE WHAT. I hate weddings. Seriously. I've said it from the beginning- a money pit. An industry designed to put you in debt for a 8 hour event.  *eyeroll* What I'm trying to say is, hire a fricken wedding planner. Spend the money. I wish I would have.  Now I'm drawing some wedding ground plans, getting centerpieces made and NOT DIETING TO FIT IN MY DRESS. because that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 

BUT I AM EXCITED THO. I'm excited to spend a week with my dearest friends before hand, in the most beautiful place in WA, getting ready for an amazing day of love! All those pesky details are trying to distract me! turds. 

Lars and I are having a CSNW/Tanzania inspired wedding, thanks to the Cle Elum 7 and our approaching travels. The only redeeming quality of being bogged down by details- at least they are chimp focused! 

This week, a truly remarkable feat happened that has resulted in "June 22- Becca and Neggie BFFL day." 

I wouldn't say that Neg and I have a complicated history, more of a small one. Negra isn't one to play chase or hand tickle. If you walked into the sanctuary on any given day, you'd probably find her in her spot on the catwalk under the window napping in her nest. It's her home, so she can do what she wants. The few times Negra moves quickly is when a meal is about to happen. After the meal she heads right back to her nesting position. Not a bad way to live, I must say. 

I came in on Monday morning and did my usual rounds. A quick "good morning" to all the chimps. Usually I only get to see B and James, as they are inside watching who is in the human area. Jamie will start to groom my boots, and we get so wrapped up in that that I don't get to see everyone else until breakfast. Monday I said a quick hello to James and went out to the greenhouse to see who was there. Foxie was laying on her back with a baby on her belly minding her own business, and I walked to the upper section of the greenhouse to find Miss Negra ready and (not so patiently) waiting for breakfast. To my shock, she stuck her lips out through the caging for a hand kiss. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening- Neg and I have had maybe 1 other contact (outside of meal interactions) in the 3 years I've been there. I sat down and said "I can have a kiss Neg?" and she continued to stick her lips out. I put the back of my hand up to the caging and got a kiss! I put my hand down, and Neg asked for another one, sticking her lips back through! I took a second kiss on the hand from her, said a very loving "thanks Neg!" and started to stand up. She then turned around and pushed her back up to the caging, asking for some grooming. Shocked, again, wondering if that's what she was actually asking for; I picked up a stick and said "okay Neg I'll groom you if you want." and sat for a few minutes picking through her hair. Then Annie came up to say hello, I said "thanks Neg!" and gave Annie some hand tickles and went to finish up getting breakfast ready. 

I ran back into the human area to tell the staff of my experience, because they also know Neg isn't giving out hand kisses for free like B does. She doesn't let people groom her that often, and a good amount of the time she will quickly threat bark and try to poke you once you start, as though she forgot that she asked for grooming, or quickly changed her mind. This was such an amazing interaction that now we have a bffl day. 

It's such a milestone to share these interactions with Negra, who in my opinion is the hardest to create a relationship with. I'm truly thankful that she is opening up to me, and understands my relationship with her is a positive and healthy one. So thankful for this experience, and I hope Neggie and I will have many more. 

I bought Jamie and I matching boots, and she was moderately impressed. In her defense, Lars was there that day and she was very invested in who he was and what he was doing. I can't really blame her though.. :) 

<3 

b

Strength and Resiliency:

If there is one thing I know to be 100% true, it's that I am strong. Stubborn, independent, impromptu, rash, whatever other words I consider to be synonyms of that word; I am strong. Physically? Well, not so much. I can lift some heavy things from time to time but my physical strength is something like a pot brownie. Powerful, but fleeting. Strong for a few hours and then pretty much useless. (Coming from a person who had marijuana filled brownies once in her life and was pretty sure I was hearing aliens, but whatevs.) My strength is a mental component, something that no one can see but I can feel. And to be perfectly honest, I stole the trait from the Cle Elum 7. 

I've learned a lot in my years with these chimps, and there are some major life lessons I've been taught that I don't think I would have learned without these guys. In particular, inner strength and resiliency. And, a purpose to live. 

I'm not going to tell you a story about a young Becca who was clinging to life, wondering why she was even born. (Although I did at one point write a run away note to my parents to say they were better off without me, lets just chalk that one up to puberty.) Depression is a very real and very serious issue and I don't think I need to explain that in much detail. I was on the verge of depression though, that I can say for sure. I had too many ideas in my head of what I wanted to do and no clear path of which one was the right one. Because of my OCD type A personality I hated the idea of just "trying some out" because "learning by failure" was absolutely not an option. I always had a plan, and deciding what to do with my life was not the time to have nothing but a blank line. 

Then, I volunteered for the first time at CSNW, and after my 3 hour shift of doing laundry, preparing meals and enrichment and making chow bags was over, I sat in my car and cried. This was it. This was what I was born to do. 

Fast forward a few years, and I am stronger and more resilient because of these 7 individuals and I am forever thankful for all they have taught, and continue to teach me. 

If resiliency could be measured, these 7 chimps would have enough to fill the Pacific Ocean. No joke, they could fill 1/3 of the planet. All of the things they've had to endure, it's amazing they are still here. If I were in their shoes I don't think I would have survived. I'm not ashamed to admit that, and if it's a trait we lost in the evolutionary line, I wish I could go back to being a chimp. 

Imagine for a moment that you are in a cage barely large enough to turn around in, separated from your friends. Being poked and prodded, knocked down for injections of who knows what, in a room with no windows. You have no choices. You do what you're told, when you're told. You eat what is given to you, or you starve.  You've never seen the sky above you. You've never touched grass with your bare feet. 

Personally, I don't think many humans could endure that kind of scenario for very long. The Cle Elum 7 did, and that resiliency and strength is one of the most important things I've learned from them. 

What truly amazes me and I'm sure many others, is that the chimps have learned to trust humans again after the terrible things they had to endure earlier in their life. They owe us nothing, and yet they willingly created friendships and bonds with the humans who work and volunteer at the sanctuary. I'm honored to call these 7 chimps some of my dearest friends and I know that these relationships wouldn't be possible without their willingness to forgive humans. Proving the point I've long been trying to make, that I enjoy a chimpanzee's company over a human. Duh. 

Here are some photos I've managed to take in past week: 

B and his toothbrush

Painting with some bamboo:

My painting of B:

If you are lucky enough to have strength and resiliency already inside of you, I hope you can help others find it. If you are still searching for it; don't give up just yet. Sometimes when you feel like you've found rock bottom, things find their way to you. Rome wasn't built in a day you know, so keep going. 

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." -Lao Tzu

-B