Missy's eyes:

It sounds a little weird to say "I love staring at Missy" but it's a true statement. 

Staring directly into a chimpanzees eyes is considered a threat, so I don't stare at her while she's looking at me, but from time to time when we are grooming or in close quarters I sneak a glance at her eyes. 

(photo from CSNW's website.)

I think all of the Cle Elum 7 are beautiful, and I make a point of telling them that every time I see them, but lately something about Missy has got me bewitched. Her brow ridge, the lines on her nose, her white patchy face, it's all beautiful. 

Yesterday (yes I know, tuesday. Not my normal day, but in an attempt to be at the chimp house more than once a week, I'm going 3 times a week!) was a weird weather day. Warm and muggy and eventually a little rainy. It was a good day to sit outside near the greenhouse while everyone (even miss Neggie!) was relaxing and grooming each other. 

I just sat on the bench above the greenhouse and took in my surroundings. Ellie the Elk was outside the chimp area in the shade relaxing and so were all the chimps. One of those afternoons where you try to take in as much of the scenery as you can, attempting to make a mental picture for later. "A perfect day at the chimp house" or some other cheesy title would probably be fitting. 

Missy approached me for grooming, presented her shoulder and we began our afternoon session. I picked up a stick and began grooming her side where she asked. Scanning the area a few times, Missy and I caught each other's eyes a few times. I would look at her and she would look away, she would look at me and I would look away, carefully trying to not offend the other. Missy turning around to glance on the hill was the perfect picture, I only wish my eyes could capture moments like it. She looked so peaceful, but alert at the same time. 

(photo from CSNW's website)

Missy and I just sat in the heat and groomed for a while. I am overwhelmed with happiness that Missy now lets me groom her. Grooming is such a social friend activity, and it means a lot that Missy has enough trust to let me do this. She kept picking and scratching at the other side of her body, and finally I said "What's going on Miss? Can I see?" and she turned around and presented the other side of her ribs, revealing a red patch of skin she was scratching. "Just a little overgroomed I think, Miss" as she settled back down for more grooming. 

This act might not sound like a huge deal, chimpanzees are intelligent and understand what you say to them. In sanctuary, these chimps are given the choice of what they want to do. In their former lives, they were kept in cages so small that they had no choice to present their side or arm or leg; they were instantly knocked out with drugs and used in whichever way their human captors needed. Missy willingly presenting her side is a sign of trust. She knows I'm just going to look and not touch. It's a big deal, to me at least. 

Thinking back to my first few shifts at CSNW I remember hardly seeing Missy. She was so fast, running out of view almost as quickly as seeing her. I remember thinking, "Missy sure is a chimp's chimp." And that much still is true, but she also does have and enjoy relationships with the humans around her. My favorite aspect of Missy play is that she makes you run and work for it- I think she enjoys watching the exercise part of the play. Her facial expression during some play looks like she is hardly enjoying it, a bluff sometimes I'm sure. 

(Photo from CSNW's blog)

Another Missy -ism I adore is her fervent head-shaking when a food is of high value. She can shake her head faster than any human I've ever seen when a high-prized food item is being served. She is quite a fan of tomatoes, and apparently mushrooms (eating in the photo).  She's a quick chimp, often running past Jamie and I while we take leisurely strolls around the hill, and I often hear her feet slapping running around the playroom with Annie or often times, Neggie. 

I admire Missy's strength, much like the other chimps, for putting up with some shitty humans in the past but also her overall strength and resilience in her new life. She is finally free to roam her large outdoor enclosure at her leisure, and does so rather quickly, and I'm so glad she has the opportunity to do so now. I'm thankful that she is letting me into her life, even if it's just to exercise me in a game of chase, or clean the dry skin and bugs from her skin. There's truly nothing better. 

Expressing emotions about animals is often frowned upon, as we are taught in school to approach things objectively. Jane Goodall received tons of shit for naming the chimps of Gombe, as she was there to study them, and all case studies should have numbers and not names (said some old dudes who bore me). But I didn't meet Missy as a "subject" or a "number" or a "case." I met her as a friend. And I sure as shit tell her all the time; I sure do love you, Miss. 

<3

B

My confident boss:

One of my favorite aspects of volunteering in the chimp house is being an observer. To many, interacting and playing with the Cle Elum 7 probably seems like the best part of being there; and while that is very fun and an amazing experience truth be told I would rather sit back and watch the chimps interact with each other. Watching how everyone reacts to Burrito doing a display, watching Annie and Missy chase each other around the playroom, watching Jamie take something a part to use certain pieces for a specific task; all of it is my favorite to watch. Often I just sit quietly on the floor and watch, take notes and just be in the chimps presence. If I walked into the chimp area looking for play every time they would probably get pretty annoyed of me really fast. If I walk into an area and the chimps are grooming and/or playing I just sit and soak it in. If someone actively walks over to me to groom or play then I'll join in, but only if a chimp is asking. 

The hardest chimp, arguably, to just observe is the boss Jamie Chimpanzee. I walk into the chimp area, quiet as a mouse, to sit in the corner and just observe what everyone is doing and 90% of the time she immediately struts (not walks, she never just walks) over to me to investigate my shoes or socks or pants, etc. 

I mean, look at this glamazon. Photo by EK @ CSNW.

Jamie spent almost a decade of her youth living with humans, so it's no wonder that she is exceptionally fascinated with what we are wearing or what projects we are working on, or that she can solve problems in a fraction of the time that some of the other chimps can. A good portion of her youth she probably watched humans doing all kinds of weird things like washing dishes or typing or trying on clothes, and I'm sure she learned a lot of her problem solving tricks in those days, if there's any positives to come from that situation.  Imagining Jamie as anyone's pet  makes my stomach hurt. This glamazon boss I'm lucky to see a few times a week belongs to no one, and if she were a human she'd probably be that one friend who kicked guys to the curb left and right because no one is good enough for her. And you would reply with a "Amen, sister." 

Jamie's confidence never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes I think what CSNW would be like without her there. Who would be the boss? I truly can't imagine any other chimpanzee at the helm of the group. I have so much love and respect for that lady, and I am so lucky to get to spend so much time with her. 

Last week I went to the chimp house on Monday and Thursday, and it's amazing to see how the chimps react to seeing someone more than once a week. Missy and I played chase for a solid 10 minutes. B and I played tug of war and chase for 20 minutes. Annie gave me a quick and wonderful hand tickle before I left. Negra and Jody are the only two I've yet to really spend time with, but they at least tolerate my existence. The relationships I have are getting stronger and more meaningful, and not just to me but to the chimps as well. Things I live for. 

I purchased a canvas and some paints today, in an attempt to paint a picture of Jamie Chimpanzee. Black and pink paint, her favorite colors of course. <3

I was going to go to the chimp house yesterday (Thursday) but after a long week of the dog being stuck inside, I made it a day for him. We went to the pet store and got some new toys, went to the park 2 times and cuddled at home. Bub spends a lot of time in his kennel when we are not home, as he has dug a hole through the bed a few times, so even though it kills me to not be at the chimp house when I have the time, I know it was a good day for bub to run and play. 

Here's to spending more time outside, purging the old and welcoming the new. 

-b

*Pans to camera* "Really?!?!"

This week has been a series of moments that left me panning to camera to say "Really?" 

Example A: I'm out and about doing errands, realizing I need red tights. As in, I wanted to wear some one day and I discovered I didn't have any. So I spend some time in the mall (on the weekend which is the worst possible time to go to any mall) trying to find some to fit my fat ass (not a self-pitying or derogatory statement, my ass is fat and I love it. Fact.) and when I finally get home I find not 1, but 3 pairs of crimson tights long lost in a drawer. 
*pans to camera* "Really?!"

Example B:  I tackle a massive laundry day, 3 loads in one day (pretty irregular for our house) and upon folding the last of the last load, Princess Butters knocks the piles off of the bed and pukes on them. Just a shirt needed re-washing, but I really didn't need to fold all those clothes again right? WRONG.
*pans to camera/Butters* "Really?" 

Example C: Raleigh had his first day at Unleashed, a kennel free boarding facility that is quite literally a god send for us. We drop him off, he runs all day, then he sleeps like an angel. Amazing. He's there for his first (and only) day and he manages to run so hard and so long that he rips up his back paw pads. Has to stay home from Unleashed for the week. 
Like, the one place he can run his little heart out and play with tons of other dogs and he manages to hurt himself. Classic Ralls.
*pans to camera* "REALLY?!?!?!" 

I'm feeling a little annoyed, at the whole week of taking 1 step forward to take 2 steps back. Specifically with the Raleigh situation because that little shit spends more time in his cone than any other dog I know. So there we were: once again in the vet's office with his little booties on making sure he didn't get an infection. *eyeroll* 

Don't get me wrong, I take Raleigh to the vet 10000 times more than I go to the doctor. Weird scab/bump on my foot? Whatever, sleep it off. Weird scab/bump on Raleigh's foot? QUICK CALL THE VET EVERYONE PANIC OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO LOSE THE FOOT. Same with Butters. Those two always get special treatment, and the same goes for any animal living/staying with me. 

One of my very favorite regulars came in to the shop at the height of this week, when Ralls had bloody feet and I knew it was going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix. She's one of those people who can say one sentence to you and completely change your entire outlook on something, and always for the better. She said "You know, that's just life. In reality, we spend more time in the chaos than we do in the perfect happy medium place. Once you find that perfect spot where everything aligns and is working, it disappears. Makes you appreciate when things are good, even if not everything is good." And I was like 
"DAMMIT YOU ARE SO RIGHT."

We do spend so much time trying to balance everything perfectly, that we miss the good things happening. Yes Raleigh is in a cone again, and his feet are ripped to shreds but he's alive, loves doggy day care and still gets to cuddle with us every night. Yes Butters puked on my clothes, but at least she feels better after that right? It's an idea that we hear all the time in music and tv to "Appreciate the little things" or "be thankful for whats going RIGHT" but something we hardly ever do in practice. Bonding in our problems is such a cultural thing, and trying to bond in positive experiences is more difficult than it sounds.  For some reason, having this woman point it out to me just really worked. Here's to truly appreciating the small things. 

Yesterday Missy and I had some good interaction time, which is always a nice treat as she mostly runs around with Annie and the other chimps. Everyone was in a grooming session in the greenhouse except for Missy and Neggie who were inside. Missy and I played a little chase, then I grabbed a scarf and we played some tug-of war. In true Missy fashion, she got the scarf and proceeded to play a game of chase again, but this time Missy moved a few feet from the playroom door to the barn doors and I had to run from the playroom doors, through the kitchen, around the outside of the chimp house to the human side of the barn doors to try to grab the scarf only to have it pulled away to the playroom doors. Somethings I  think it's Missy's way of getting me some exercise. I mean, compared to her, she probably thinks I need to lose a few pounds. 

Mondays enrichment theme was "IPad Day" where the chimps have an opportunity to play games, paint, etc on the iPad. (in a chimp protective case and through the caging of course). Jamie likes to play a mouse catching game in which you tap on the mouse as it runs around the page and it squeaks when you hit it. She is a master at this game. Yesterday, not so much. Not remotely interested in the iPad. No painting, not even the animal sounds app that she and Foxie like to listen to, nothing. I brought the iPad into the playroom and she literally stared filing her nails with a file I gave her earlier. LITERALLY FILING HER NAILS SO BORED WITH THE IPAD. Foxie just wants to grab the iPad, but we did watch some Dora the Explorer for a minute. These chimps in particular are not that enthused about playing games on the iPad. Some days are more exciting than others, and more often than not Jamie is more interested in the pictures on my cell phone than what's on the iPad. Or better yet, grooming my feet and fingernails. 

I also, by some strange miracle, found a troll doll outside the coffee shop on Sunday morning. It's hard enough to find trolls on the internets, let alone to just come across one sitting outside. I snatched it up and gave it to Miss Foxie as a gift, and we even played some troll music with it! (A game I named, where Foxie passes me her troll doll and I bang it on anything and everything that makes noise, and we bob our heads to the music.) Nothing better than enjoying a troll doll together! 

Here's to patience, letting fate take its course and remembering to be present in every moment.

<3
b

Beginning the next chapter:

I'm realizing that I am nearly 3 weeks behind here, and not for lack of trying. I did sit down multiple times last week to attempt a blog about interacting with Missy and playing with Burrito last Monday but I couldn't find the words. There were too many things I wanted to include on the blog and I couldn't settle on just one so I just skipped it completely. Whoops. Life happens ya know? 

In an attempt to have a secret and a "big reveal" at our wedding, I was avoiding blogging because all I wanted to talk about was something I was trying to keep quiet. If anyone knows me, you know that I am literally the WORST at keeping secrets. Every single gift I've ever given to Lars has been ruined days, sometimes months, before I even give it to him, because I'm just so excited about it. So it's not all that shocking that I was trying to keep a secret until August and it's coming out now. 

Lars and I have set a timeline for a 2017 departure from the US to live in Tanzania, East Africa! Working in national parks, making coffee, working with kids (Lars, obviously.) and learning how to build a sustainable and functioning sanctuary are the goals, and we have no decided return date as we might just live there forever. I'm honestly pooping my pants with joy to return to my favorite place on the planet and start the next chapter of our lives. Soon you'll be reading this blog as I'm writing it from BEAUTIFUL ARUSHA TANZANIA! <3 (Or Manyara, or Kigoma. :)) 

So, stay tuned for updates on that adventure which will be nothing short of crazy and amazing. (And also look out for the million things I'll be getting rid of before we leave the beautiful PNW! including a dog and cat. :( sad sad, but the stress of moving that far would literally kill them. And I love my princess Butters too much to take her diva butt to a country of so much warmth. She's got long hair and will definitely have a heat stroke or 100) I'm calling it the "move back home" as my time in Tanzania was truly the only time I've been 100% comfortable with my surroundings, aside from when I'm with the chimpanzees in Cle Elum. Its the reason I have the Tanzanian flag tattooed on my arm with the word "Nyumbani" over it, meaning "home."

Sokwe Sanctuary may just have a home in Tanzania. We aren't sure yet on the logistics of where we will build, or if we will even need to build at all. We are, however, thrilled to be moving our life to the beautiful continent of Africa. (If Lars had it his way, we would be leaving directly after the wedding.) I have a few other (hundred) things to take care of before we leave though. :) 

As excited as I am about this adventure, I know the one thing that will be the hardest to do is say goodbye to my favorite chimpanzee friends. We have some time sure, but they will easily be my hardest goodbye.  That's why in the coming months I'll be moving my schedule around to volunteer with the chimps 3+ times a week. I love them all with all of my being, forever and always. Even Neggie. <3 

Anyway, apologizes for the lack of blogging. I've sat down multiple times in the last few weeks trying to blog about chimping, but all I've wanted to talk about is my move to Africa. The weather is warming up in Cle Elum and it's been a warm few weeks of spring with the chimps. Missy has been playing chase with me and letting me groom her, B is goofy and playful as usual and Jamie is keeping my interaction time with others in check as usual. I don't have a lot of pictures lately, but here's a panorama of walking with Jamie on Young's Hill from a week ago. 

Nothing better than walking with that lady and enjoying the beautiful view! <3 

This past Monday with the chimps was a beautiful day, and Jamie wanted to walk right away, even though we were just about to clean the play rooms. I said I would hurry and clean and then we could go; and she responded by throwing some poop at me to say : Actually we are going NOW!" K walked with her while the rest of us cleaned. Some days Jamie will wait, and some days she really wants to go right away. (The poop missed me, btw. Attaching itself to the wall above my head.) B and I played some chase and Missy even played a little chase with me as well, except with her version of chase the human moves 90% and she moves 10%. Our game of chase involved her turning around in one of the doors while I had to run through a door, outside, up some steps and into the greenhouse. Clearly, she was working ME out. 

Phew. Glad I got that off my chest! I'm so excited to begin this next chapter, and I can't wait to share all the joy and struggles that come along with it. 

<3

B