Soapbox; but also chimp laughs with Buritto:

Priorities, amirite? I'm filled with a lot of different and conflicting emotions this week as priorites are shifting in my life all on their own, without my consent! LIKE WTF, self? 

This week I was lucky enough to spend Sunday and Monday at the chimp house, as opposed to the regular just Monday chimp day. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but to someone like me who would sell just about anything to wake up and spend everyday working in the chimp house, it's pretty fricken cool. Even if it's just doing laundry and washing produce, just being in the chimp house is my absolute favorite time of the week.Its a time to shut off the self-serving part of my brain and operate for the chimps. 

*If you are here just for the CSNW chimp adventure, I would advise you to scroll down.*  

People find out that I volunteer with chimpanzees and almost immediately want to discuss animal welfare, zoos vs sanctuaries, bushmeat law, animals as pets, etc. All of which I love to discuss as I have an opinion on almost all of those topics. (Specifically bushmeat, as I spent 3 years of my undergrad deeply involved in research with the bushmeat trade surrounding Tanzania. Seriously, ask me anything.)  The problem is, there is not just one answer to solve all of the problems facing animals today. I can only speak as to what I think solutions are, and my priorities are different than yours. Which is not a good or bad thing, it's just a fact. I'm coming to this place in my life where things I used to think were the worst, are becoming a valid idea or attempt. Ideas are changing, opinions are becoming a little more grey and less black and white. 

The example for which this is relevant: The Woodland Park Zoo Elephants. A year(ish) ago WPZ announced that the elephant exhibit was being phased out, as "adding more elephants for greater genetic diversity for the group was not possible in the foreseeable future." Elephants are social beings, much like primates and Bamboo and Chai needed more than just each other to be truly happy and enriched. (I mean, could you imagine only seeing 1 other human for the rest of your life? Living in a world of elephants, you and one other human? I would need more people to talk to for sure.) 

Props to WPZ, they understood a fundamental aspect that not many of us get, that elephants need friends and family to be happy, and WPZ had their hearts in the right place. We then hear that the options for Bamboo and Chai are sanctuary or a different zoo, and most of us are on the sanctuary side. Letting those two live out their lives in a large enclosure where they can do what they choose seems like the obvious choice right?  After time to think and weigh the options, WPZ decides to send them to the Oklahoma City Zoo and you can almost hear a collective groan from the sanctuary side of the vote. I myself said, "Well now I'm boycotting the zoo for sure." 

Of course, there are two sides to everything. Something I try to remind myself of whenever I am really opinionated or passionate about something. Stepping back and looking at things from both sides, and being able to weigh the facts. I confess, I'm not an expert at this yet. (but who the fuck is.) And in this weird moment I have a complete turn around of opinion. The deciding factors come out from the WPZ's decision and I learn that the Oklahoma City zoo has a family that Bamboo and Chai would fit right into. (http://www.zoo.org/elephantnews) And I'm standing here with my metaphorical pants down like "well maybe this is good news?"

So now, I'm in this weird place of being excited for Bamboo and Chai to have a bigger family to interact with, but with some residual feelings of anger that they are going to another zoo. I like zoos. AND I hate zoos. Putting any living creature in a glass box and shoving your face up against it, banging on it is annoying and sad. If you were that gorilla you would probably be pretty annoyed that people are in your face all day being loud and eating delicious looking food that you aren't allowed to have! I mean come on! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT FUCKING COTTON CANDY TINY HUMAN. 

" Zoos aren't a good place. "

But the inverse of that is that zoos are one of the best educational learning spaces for young kids to obtain knowledge about animals they would only see in books. If there were no animals at the zoo, who would go just to hear people talk about them? Adults maybe, sure. But we want the brain when it is thirsty for new knowledge. When we can teach them about the lion and what is happening to his habitat. (I'm thinking we need some sort of 3d designed zoo, anyone know anyone who could do that? lets chat.) 

AND THEN there are sanctuaries. Amazing places where visitors are rarely seen and animals come first. Still not as good as the wild, but better than a tiny enclosure with kids in your face all day. But why give your money to a sanctuary when you could pay to see a gorilla 1" from your face?!!? (counter argument. not my thoughts. ugh, please give your money to sanctuaries though.) 

BUT THE WILD ISN'T SAFE EITHER. Bushmeat trade, habitat destruction, deforestation, overpopulation of humans taking animal space, you name it and the humans are taking more and more from the animal habitats. Now a zoo is sounding pretty good isn't it? Daily food, some cool toys, safe from predators (sort of) and a family around you?

(lets just not get me started on animal testing. it's disgusting, any way you look at it. that's all i'm going to say about that.)

So now my brain is saying WELL WHAT THE HELL DO WE THINK IS BEST BECCA. You can't work in the animal field without opinions about these things! (sentiments I've heard)  Honestly, I can see the good in all of them; which is vastly different if you would have asked me this a few years ago. I would have probably said something like "ZOOS ARE DEATH" or "IF YOU LIKE THE ZOO THEN GO LIVE IN IT AND SEE HOW MUCH FUN IT IS."  Someone had good intentions with the idea of a zoo. People who own primates as pets (sometimes) think it's whats best for them. The grey area is where I'm at these days. If zoos were bigger, gave animals more space to run and live, and people weren't eating in front of them or banging on their house and if the educational value was pumped way up, I'd probably work at one. (sounds like a sanctuary huh?)

If bushmeat laws were more efficiently enforced and national parks were taken care of, the wild would be a better (safer) place. 

If having a wild animal as a pet was accurately reported instead of making "cute youtube videos" making everyone want a chimp or slow loris in their home, then we could better educate the world.

If sanctuaries were given more funds to create larger spaces, we could get more animals out of testing labs and into retirement. 

But which do we solve first? How do you prioritize? Do more problems arise in other areas by solving one problem?

PRIORITIES AMIRITE?

*steps off soapbox* Phew. Okay. Chimping: 

Being at the sanctuary two days in a row throws everyone for a loop I think. The chimps seem to look at me like " wait, didn't we just see you yesterday?" In being there more times, the chimps get more used to you and slowly become okay with you being around. Jody for example, offered me 2 greetings on Monday morning! Normally Jody gives me a butt bounce (exactly how it sounds) from a ways away. Monday she offered me her butt and her back for a little knuckle rub greeting. I verbally said good morning the first time, as her butt was two squares in the caging away from Jamie's fingers and I didn't not want to start the day off by upsetting Jamie with a greeting that was not directed towards her. A few minutes later Jamie was in another area and Jody offered me her back, so we did a little knuckle rub goodmorning! I said thank you to Miss Jo and we went our separate ways. 

*I always say "thank you" or "that was very nice" to whoever I'm interacting with when we are done because it's just good manners. It's their house, and none of them have to interact with me if they don't want to, and I always want them to know I appreciate it." 

Monday was also wonderful because I got to play with Burrito for nearly 20 minutes which was wonderful. Here is a little snippet of what that looks like:

B is a big sweetheart and loves to play chase, tug-o-war and really likes when humans mimic his behavior. (some chimps HATE that, but B chimp laughs along as you do what he does.) In the video you can hear me making "raspberries" which is a typical Burrito sound, and also some chimp laughing near the end when we are playing "follow the finger" (a name I literally just made up for when he puts his finger through the caging and I have to hit it with my hand.) B started to initiate play with me when I noticed the toothbrush behind him, so I said "B hand me that toothbrush!" and he picked it up and brought it over to the caging so we could play some tug-o-war and do some brushing. B likes to put it in his mouth or under his arm so when I lift up and down on the brush, it lifts his arms/legs/etc. We just chimp laugh forever. It's wonderful. 

Out of frame Jamie is sitting in the window with a boot, and every few minutes I just give her a head nod and say "I'll stop if you want James" and she just gives me a little nod and continues sitting, as if to say "fine but keep it down." Once we get loud or out of control, Jamie usually lets us know we are done. 

Foxie is also warming up to me more and more each time I'm there, almost immediately offering me a troll doll. Monday almost got me in big trouble with the big boss Jamie. I was interacting with Jamie, looking at our boots, and all of the sudden Foxie is above me getting ready to throw her doll down to me (hazardous as I did almost get pegged with a Dora) and Jamie was NOT okay with me attempting to interact with Miss Fox. I caught the doll and immediately Jamie let out a threat bark, telling me playing with Fox was not okay. So I held on to the doll to wait for a better time to play with Fox, after Jamie was in another area or went for a walk. Foxie starts blowing raspberries and waving her fingers through the caging, letting me know she would like her doll back. I step into the chimp area and say "Fox are you ready?" attemping to throw the Dora back to her, and Jamie comes flying up to the caging with a hand full of (thankfully) alfalfa to throw on me. "Sorry James!" I say quickly and hold onto the doll for a later attempt at return. Hazards of the job, I'm telling you. 

Here is Jamie giving me a little pedicure: 

 Monday was Rainforest day, so I brought some big green paper in and made a canopy (kinda)

 Lettuce Tree! 

All in all,  a very successful two days in a row with the chimps. I adore spending time with those 7 beautiful creatures. 

My partner in crime, for 9 years. <3 (We had to take a selfie after his first shift!)

March 22nd brought the anniversary of being with my main squeeze for 9 years. aka most of my little sister's life. Since I was 14 I knew I wanted to marry this man, and I am so excited to get to do that this summer! I can't express in words just how much this man has done for me the past 9 years, but I am in awe of how lucky I am to have him in my life. Truly the only constant in my world, there are many times I thought "gosh I wouldn't have made it through x without Lars in my life." Sure, he's pretty messy. And never puts his socks in the washer, but hey. After all the times he's taken care of me, in and out of the hospital, mentally and physically, I would pick up his socks for the rest of my life. 

Lars did his first volunteer chimp shift that day, initiating him into the CSNW family. One day he'll be serving meals and playing chase with B. I am so excited for him to get to know the chimps and fall in love with them the way I have. What else would we do on our anniversary besides work at the chimp house? NOTHING. 

my fingers hurt. 

kbye,

b

Playing with the elusive Missy:

Monday was a very good example of the age old sentiment "when it rains, it pours." I was able to get good interaction time in with Missy, Foxie, Burrito and Jamie. Jamie was surprisingly relaxed about me running around playing with other chimps, and no poop was thrown! Huzzah!

The enrichment theme of the day was "all forage day" meaning instead of serving the chimps their meals, we cut the food into smaller pieces, spread it out in a certain area, and then let them forage for what they can get. Similar, or as much as we can get, to foraging in equatorial Africa. Each chimp has their own way of foraging, different foods in a specific order, and its always fun to watch who goes for what.

In this video you can see Missy getting some cucumbers I put on the ledge of one of the doors.

Missy was feeling especially interested in the human caregivers yesterday, which is a little out of the ordinary. Missy is what you would call a "chimps chimp" meaning she would rather interact and play with her chimpanzee companions and not so much her human companions. When she is feeling interested in you, its always a treat! After lunch forage there were some plastic straws in the front rooms for the chimps to use to get food from in front of the doors. Missy handed me one, I assumed she wanted to reach the food next to me so I just told her she could reach it with the straw. She then handed me another straw, much to my shock, to play tug of war! Only a few seconds of tugging before Jamie came in, assuming we were after food, so Missy got out of there real quick. A few hours later Missy and I played a few rounds of chase, which is also the most tiring with Missy because she is the fastest chimp on the planet! By the time you get to where she is, she's already gone! Missy is slow to warm up to the humans at CSNW but we are making a relationship, slowly but surely! 

(photo by CSNW)

Missy is often distinguished by her white patch on her face. 

In this video: Jamie on tool use

Jamie and I only took one stroll around the hill yesterday. We did a good amount of hair brushing and I even attempted to make some art with her, but that didn't last long. I grabbed a piece of paper for each of us and a crayon for each of us and sat on the other side of the caging with the hopes that we would both draw on our papers. Not even a minute in, and Jamie ate the crayon. The running joke was I could come back tomorrow and pick up my drawing smeared on the wall. Jamie is on her own schedule, and was more interested in eating that crayon than drawing with it. 

This video has a little more Jamie with tool use and Missy looking through the shopping bag, but its mostly for the sound. There is no better sound than chimps chomping on their food. <3 <3 Just sitting and listening is sometimes my favorite part of the day. 

Below is Jody (left) and Annie (right) getting the cucumbers off of the door ledge. 

Foxie and I also got a good 15 minutes of baby beating in. If you've ever checked out the CSNW blog, Foxie beating her babies is nothing new. She likes to create some beautiful soundtracks of the day with her babies and beating them against the caging, the walls, other enrichment, etc. Yesterday Fox gave me her babies and we played chase/musical babies on the walls and sinks and other things Foxie can't normally beat her babies on. She head nodded and danced along as we chimp laughed and continued baby beating and running around the playroom and front rooms. Foxie is getting more comfortable with me holding on to her babies for longer amounts of time. Sometimes she'll pass me a baby and immediately ask for it back, and sometimes she lets me run around and dance with her. 

Just another wonderful Monday with the 7 most amazing chimps in Washington! :) 

-b

Quiet Lunch.

In all honesty, I don't have much to report from this Monday's chimp shift! I picked up produce to deliver to the chimps so I didn't get to the sanctuary until 12:45. And was, of course, greeted by Jamie who was ready for a walk around the hill. 

After our walk Jamie did some grooming of me and the boot. She likes to check out the hair on my legs, probably wondering where it all is (compared to her lovely black leg hair.) Jamie is lip smacking in the video, chimp grooming noises, mimicking eating bugs out of a friends hair. 

Jamie is very independent, as I've said before. If she wants to groom me all I usually say is, "you have to get a tool" and she'll take off and come back a few minutes later with a big plastic straw or a stick or comb and is ready to go. Sometimes I help her by getting a stick from outside, like in the video. I grabbed a small piece of bamboo, gave some of it to Jody who was very interested, and gave the rest to Jamie to shape down to the appropriate length to reach my leg/knee and she was ready! 

Shockingly, Mondays lunch was the quietest meal I've had in a long time. Normally when I walk out to serve lunch, I food grunt to let the chimps know its time to eat and they respond with grunts and usually come to where I am to see what we are having. Monday, everyone was already in the green house, and my food grunts were met with blank stares. Foxie, Missy and Annie didn't even come over to the caging to have lunch, until they saw the tomatoes. Burrito even denied the asparagus! (which doesn't inherently sound weird, but if you know Burrito's love for food, you would stare in shock.) All I could say was "Really B? You don't want food?" Negra didn't eat anything. Not one bite of any of the food pictured below. She took her chow bags at the end of the meal, but didn't eat anything else! 

As worried as I was about Neggie not eating a bite of anything, it's her choice, and that's the beautiful thing about sanctuary. The chimps can choose what they would like to eat. Neg wasn't a fan of anything on the menu so she chose not to have any. Foxie only ate the tomatoes and a few carrots. Missy didn't want asparagus. They all chose what they wanted to eat and passed on things not as delicious. (Fear not, Neggie ate everything at dinner including a carrot and almond milk soup/puree and loved it! Which is also abnormal as she usually passes on smoothies and/or drinkables at breakfast.)

Some meals are high arousal. Whether its because of the food or a prior fight/squabble, some meals are just full of pokes from B or threat barks from Neg. And some meals are quiet and uneventful. Dinner was VERY high arousal with the soup, everyone was excited to have some, which made it slightly more difficult to serve. The hardest part about serving meals is there is one of you and 7 chimps. Someone is always waiting and annoyed to be waiting. For the most part the chimps are forgiving; they understand that you are only 1 person and you don't have 7 arms. When there is a high prized item on the menu, patience isn't always a priority.

Lunch for the chimps: Tomatoes, Fennel, Asparagus and carrots. Overall, underwhelming. 

Jamie was a fan of the red socks and her black boots. 

Post hill grooming.

Burrito (top) and Jody (bottom) twin resting. 

Another wonderful monday with my dearest non-human primate friends! <3

Also on Monday: a good round of chase with Burrito and a few moments of tug of war with the shy Missy. Don't worry, Jamie threw sand at me to let me know that we were done playing. Someone has to keep us in line right? RIGHT. 

I'll be back in a week! 

b

Ellie brings the Drama:

okay look, I really tried to blog when I got home yesterday but let me tell you, I was too pooped. I was in bed trying with all my might to keep my eyes open at 8:15, and I lost that battle. When sleep is calling, I cannot ignore it. 

An old friend came back to the sanctuary on Monday, Ellie the Elk; who I haven't seen in a number of months. Ellie hangs around the sanctuary usually breaking into the compost bin outside for some snacks, or trying to start a fight with the dogs or just upsetting the chimps with her presence. I captured this little video when Jamie and I were trying to take a walk around the hill and Ellie wanted to join us. 

The video is pretty self explanatory, but I did have to cut it off about a minute short because blogger says it was too big. What you don't see in this video is all of the chimps (except Neggie because she doesn't have time for that) giving Ellie a little bit of "what's up" Meaning: all of the chimps want Ellie to know who's house it is. By standing up on two legs, hair standing up and making threat calls, it's the chimps' way of intimidating any unwelcome guests. (Maybe not always unwelcome, sometimes it's just a notice to tell you your behavior is unwelcome.) The chimps know Ellie and have seen her many times, but as you can see in this video, she is a little close to the chimps enclosure which causes them to remind her where she is. After Burrito does a little display dance the chimps break off to go about their day and Jamie and I continue our walk. Ellie follows me around the hill, and on the 2nd time around we reach the bottom of the hill Ellie is there waiting while Annie and Missy keep a close eye. Another wonderful example of how the chimps work together to ward off any unwanted guests. Even if Jamie and Jody were having an off day 2 minutes prior, the second Ellie tries to stick her face anywhere near the chimps they all have the same goal: to show everyone who's in charge. 

(here's a quick shot of Jamie turning around to assist a pilo Jody)

(My "way to go Ellie" face.)

In a not so shocking Monday, Jamie and I did 6 trips around the hill and combined with her walks with other caregivers she did around 11 trips. It's perfect weather for Jamie to do lots of walks on the hill. Not too hot and not too cold, so she takes full advantage of whoever is there to take some strolls with her. I love walking with Jamie towards the end of the day  because she's getting tired from all of her previous walks and will take breaks in between (letting me get a few bites of lunch before she's ready for another go.) But I really love end of the day trips because Jamie will come inside and let me brush her hair for a few minutes. Jamie loves hair; as I've wrote about before and because the chimps are not allowed to groom our face or head, I sometimes just sit with her and brush my hair so she can watch. Brushing my hair, braiding my hair and eventually grooming her for a little while is such a simple and therapeutic interaction between us. How do I know she's okay with me brushing her hair? Typically it looks like this: 

We stroll around the hill.

We come inside. 

I get a brush or comb from the chimp enrichment.

I show Jamie the brush and say " I can brush your hair if you want?" 

She comes over to the caging and either sits with her back to me or she pushes her shoulder/hip up against the caging. Presenting me with which area she would like brushed. 

I comb through her hair while making chimp grooming noises, and she moves accordingly. (when she's had enough grooming in one area she will switch sides.) 

When she's done and/or ready to go outside again she will get up or move away from the brushing. (aka, you KNOW when you are done.) 

Sometimes, truthfully I think she lets me brush her hair because I enjoy it so much. Speculation, obviously as i'm not in Jamie's head. But don't we all go to the hair salon to let someone else do our hair because it's fun? Because we don't want to do it? Because our hair dresser is now our friend and someone we trust to make us look good? Thoughts for another day. 

Jamie is one of the most persistent primates I know, humans included. Which is the main reason I ate my lunch in small doses over 3 hours yesterday. When she wants you to do something, you'll know clear as day. It does make it a little difficult to have interaction time with the other chimps at times. For example: Burrito is a big fan of chase. And tug-of-war. And all games. And laughing. And happiness. So when Burrito starts play stomping at you, its almost impossible to say no. We checked the area for boss lady Jamie and then began a little game of chase. I love playing tug-of-war with Burrito because he will put the scarf or straw under his arms or around this neck to when you pull on it with him, he gets a mini massage. Its quite literally the most adorable thing to see him shaking around, laughing while you play with him. So, I took a quick break from chase to go inside to grab a scarf to tug on with him. Burrito grabs the other end and tugs on it literally 2 times before Jamie comes right behind him, nudges him a little and gives a little grunt, takes the end of the scarf and pulls it from my hands taking all of it into the enclosure, telling me playing with Burrito was absolutely over and it was time for another young's hill trip. Right to the point. No beating around the bush. You are done with him and lets get all your attention back on me okay. Yes mam. There are days when Jamie doesn't mind you playing with Burrito or passing a troll doll with Fox, but it is always polite to ask permission if she's in the vicinity. #mannersmatter

Here's a pretty normal chimp lunch: fresh yummy veggies. Yams, peppers and celery. Jamie prefers red peppers, Neggie won't eat the peppers unless the yams are gone but Jamie wont eat the yams until after the peppers. The things you learn. 

Until next time fellow primates! 

-B

Warning: This post not 100% about chimpanzees...

Okay well, still pretty much about chimpanzees because it's me we are talking about here. 

Whoops. I did that thing again where I completely forget to blog about Mondays with the Cle Elum 7.  Winter is a difficult time for me to do anything, as our tiny poorly insulated house is in fact FREEZING and as soon as I get home from work I turn the electric blanket on and crawl into bed for a 2-6 hour nap. Sitting at the computer pretty much doesn't happen, unless it's on Lars' laptop and I'm watching my stories. 

I was really trying to step away from technology the past few months as I sometimes just find it incredibly frustrating. After weeks (that felt like years, I should add) of trying to update and understand my sanctuary website, I loudly screamed "FUCK THIS" and crawled into my cocoon to ignore the world. People think because I'm 23 I know all facets of the internet and love to explore it, but in all honesty it confuses me beyond all belief.  Also this winter Raleigh learned what "nap time" meant and as soon as I would say it he would run into the bedroom and curl up in his usual spot with me. Sweet or pathetic? The jury is still out on that one. 

It's 2015 already, and it's time to TCOB (take care of business for those at home.) And the start of 2015 kicked my ass, but here's to looking up right? Dear God I hope so. 

The past few months have been full of good and bad changes. As all months are, but these past few months in particular feel heavier than most. Key people in my life leaving, sincere friends being pillars of strength, rediscovering friendships from years ago and its been really FRIGGEN WEIRD. Normally I'm ready for change in all aspects, one of the reasons I love my Anthropology degree so much; its prepared me for change in all aspects of life. This winter for some reason kept knocking me on my ass, and every time I thought I was on my feet something else would happen that just hit me like a ton of bricks. So I decided to stay down. The opposite of what our parents have been telling us right? But hey, I got the hint life was not so subtlety trying to tell me. It was time to take care of me. Time to re-evaluate lots of things. Upcoming paths and choosing which one to take, you know, adult shit. So that's what I've been doing. Not always fun and games, but still important and needed every once in a while. I hunkered down and took care of me and the man who has been by my side for the past 9 years. I don't know what it is about him, but he always knows it will be okay, even when I am the most full of doubt. (Don't tell him I said that.)

One of the major steps decided was putting Sokwe Sanctuary on hold. Shocking I know, as it's my life mission and the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, but it's true. After spending a good chunk of time thinking about it, Lars and I want to do some things first. For one, I'd like to get most, if not all, of my student loans paid for. Even though the sanctuary has its own money, the institutions willing to give loans are more likely to help someone who's got less than more money borrowed. (I'm trying this thing called financial responsibility okay, gimmie a break.) Most importantly, I'd like to get Lars to Africa, specifically Tanzania, to live and work with some chimps.  I miss Mahale like you do when you are homesick at camp and all I dream about is getting Lars to see the place I fell in love with. I'd like to live there for a while, and you never know, maybe Sokwe Sanctuary will have a birthplace in Tanzania? Lars would also like to get our tiny house built and travel. We want to get our childrens book done and put that in the Sokwe fund as well. Sokwe will be a reality, but we are more flexible with when. And to be honest, It's a huge exhale moment for the both of us. This overhead deadline of when the sanctuary needs to be open was a little bit too much for me, and especially Lars. One foot in front of the other right? 

JORGENSEN WEDDING IS UNDER 6 MONTHS AWAY. and apart from pulling my hair out, things are moving along. 

I'm excited for the actual day itself, not so much all the prep. That's probably how all weddings are right? 

Chimping the past few months has been, as always, a blast. It's truly my favorite day of the week. Jamie continues to walk me around the hill to the point of exhaustion, and Annie continues to be my secret friend when no one is looking. One day she'll acknowledge me in front of someone... *crosses fingers*  

Something that happened for the first time on Monday: 

Jamie likes to make me exercise. It's no secret by now that she is the best and only trainer I've ever had. Now that the weather is warming up in Cle Elum, it's not such a slippery trek either. On Monday Jamie and I did a few walks on our own, with an occasional Missy coming along, but one of our walks involved someone I've never had accompany us before, Big B! 

Bub explores the hill just like the other chimps, but I've never had the pleasure of walking with him around Jamie's path. Pictured above is Jamie leading the way up the hill with B behind. B had a wadge of paper in his mouth and ventured up the hill with us. Jamie didn't seem to mind at all, as long as he stayed behind her, I'm sure. 

B was in a very playful mood on Monday which was a change from the past few times I'd been over there. The new norm for B was trying to poke me at every meal when I would try to serve anyone else food, getting a mouthful of water showered over me if I came around the corner and B was there. No chase, no tug of war, just showers and pokes. So it came as a little bit of a nice surprise when B wanted to play this Monday. 

Once we reached the top of the hill, Jamie left us to cut down the middle. I assumed B would follow her down, but much to my surprise he kept walking along the well worn Jamie path around the outside edge of the enclosure. Once we started going down the hill B ran, and I ran with him. I was ready for Jamie to come storming down, pilo and ready to throw poop at me for enjoying a moment with B, but she just let us run down that hill and continue inside for a game of chase. While Jamie walked with another human companion, Foxie and I played a little "pass the troll doll" which involves Fox throwing her dora or troll doll down to me to hug on and dance with and me throwing it back up to her to inspect. Not as easy as it sounds, I promise you. Foxie is also a lady who will play with me, but as a last resort. She's warming up to me slowly, I'm sure of it! 

Things that happened: 

Jamie approves of my pink suede fringe boots! (and at $15 I mean come on.)

Evening enrichment hanging outside of the caging: 

Blue Friday and Jamie is all about the exercise. 

And I FINALLY got this painting by my baby brother tattooed on me. A beautiful chimp, now always with me. <3

I sincerely promise myself and whoever pays attention to this little corner of my mind, that I will blog about my experiences with the Cle Elum 7 on Monday nights after my day at the chimp house. I took my little break and now I'm back. 

Okay, until wedding month because lets be real, I'll be crying of stress or excitement at that time and ya'll don't want to read anything that comes from that. 

-b

"Why do you love chimpanzees so much?"

Ay ay ay. Life has taken me away from the computer and on some serious adventures lately, and my blogging has been a bit lax. Apologies! I'm back, and have so many things to write about. 

Being in the field of primatology/conservation/education/advocacy/whatever else is included in that is always a hard one to explain. "Why would you ever build a non-profit? Commit yourself to never making copious amounts of money? Living in a tiny house while giving all you have to a species who can't even thank you for it? " Just some of the questions I've been asked. The honest truth is, I can't answer that. I can't put words to my love for non-human primates. The closest thing I can equate it to is your love for your children or family, which even then is a vast and almost inappropriate comparison. Working with non-human primates is my passion, and I can't even begin to imagine my life without them. I'm STOKED to live in a tiny house and give every penny back to chimps. There is honestly no other way I  want to live my life. It's my calling. That thing that keeps me up at night, in the most beautiful way. 

I'm not a religious person, by any means. I respect Christians, Lutherans, Atheists, you name it. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want. I feel extremely lucky to have grown up in a non-religious household as I was able to look at all religions from the same standpoint. I didn't grow up with a bias towards Taoism or a strong connection with Jesus, I got to read and learn about all of them individually; which I think is how every child should grow up. With the ability to choose what he or she believes. At this point, I'm very fond of Buddhism and Animism. I think the Buddha had some amazing ideas about spirituality within oneself and I do firmly believe that all things (living and non) have a spirit, which is the essence of Animism.
         
              *I wear a tiny golden Buddha necklace everyday, as I purchased it for myself a few weeks ago in hopes that during times of struggle I would look inward instead of outward for guidance. I guess that is my main struggle with some religions; that they ask you to pray to someone else for help. I've always inherently believed that we all have the power within ourselves to make things happen. Those who had to ask others for help annoyed me. (The stubborn-ness blob that is me still does think that a little.)*

I name my car, my mailbox, my innate objects. I talk to my dog and cat just as I talk to my friends. And when I'm working at the chimp house I am, yes, working with 7 chimpanzees, but mostly I'm spending time with 7 friends. 7 different personalities who are all old enough to be my mother and therefore get more respect than most people in my life. No they don't speak my language, the desk doesn't parlay with me in English. But beings understand other beings. Jamie chimpanzee can understand what I'm saying, and I can understand her body signals. We communicate on a daily basis. This idea that human beings are better than the rest of the animal kingdom because we can speak to each other is hogwash. Animals communicate just as much (if not better) than we do. In turn, part of the reason I love chimps so much is because in my eyes, they aren't' just chimps. They aren't just helpless animals (in fact, Jamie would probably slap my face if I called her helpless.) They long for social interaction, friendships just like humans do. Would you feel comfortable if your sister had to sit in a room with no outside light the size of a bathroom everyday for 20-30-40 years? With no friends? Probably not. Chimpanzees shouldn't have to be put in that situation either. Humans are responsible for the lives these chimps have, and I NEED to be a part of the solution, not the problem. 

My favorite trait of the chimpanzee is their loyalty. Choosing a particular trait in anything is a little weird, like , "oh hey Liz I love your ability to problem solve its my favorite thing about you!" So maybe favorite is the wrong word, but it's truly a trait I envy. In the past few months I've learned more about loyalty than in the last 23 years of my life. Friendship and loyalty in humans is such a fragile weird thing. It takes forever to give and earn but is so quickly discarded at the drop of a hat. Humans talk about betrayal and how painful it is, but they turn around and do it to someone else without even realizing it. I take solace in the fact that my fiancee+babybrother+squirrelfriend (code names, you know how I do) have been so unbelievably amazing and define the trait of loyalty every day, but many other times I've not been so lucky. Working in the chimp house and seeing the bonds between the Cle Elum 7 is sincerely refreshing and beautiful. They are not biologically related, but they have created a familial tie, friendships that never break and the dynamic they have with each other is seriously something I long for. Its the family over everything else, whether they are protecting each other from other animals invading their space, the humans they feel have overstepped their boundaries or big B when he did (or didn't) do something wrong. They fight, just like brothers and sisters fight, but at the end of the day, the bonds they have outweigh everything. It's quite honestly one of the most beautiful interactions I have the pleasure of catching glimpses of, and I wish some more humans had this ability.  So there. Just a glimpse of why I do what I do. 

Now, being an official level 3 caregiver, I'm creating better relationships with the 7 beauts in Cle Elum. Neggie has almost stopped refusing food from me. I've got the order down of which foods she likes and in which order. Jamie and I are breaking records on times walked around the hill in one day. (Last monday it was 6, she did a total of 9 or 10 total.) Miss Jody gives me a nice butt bounce greeting in the morning. Annie even comes over and sits near me when other chimps are around. The friendships I'm creating here mean more to me than most of my human relationships and I'm not even a little ashamed to admit it. 

                                               here is Jamie (left) and Miss Negra (right)

                                             Jamie just doing some modeling, you know. 

The next two photos are of Jamie and I reading a magazine. The first one, I am holding it while she uses the tool to flip the pages.  The bottom image is after I gave it to her to peruse on her own. 

Here is a video of a walk with Jamie (and eventually Missy.)

The cracking sounds are Jamie eating peanuts as she waits for Missy to catch up. 

Lars and I traveled to Texas for the NAPSA conference and it was the best few days of my life to date. Amazing people doing amazing things, and I sincerely didn't want to leave. 

Sanctuary plans and wedding plans are moving along, slowly but surely. I'll be around here more often, pinky promise. 

love to you and your non-human primate friends. 

b

Fear. (oh, and my *Secret Friend* Annie turned 40.)

AH. again with the losing track of time and the blogging and the Internets and the failing. 

Hi. 

I would like to start this post with some talk about fear. I am fortunate enough to know a lot of amazing people who cycle in and out of the coffee shop on a regular basis. Many are in fact, members of my Board of Directors for my chimpanzee sanctuary. Whether they are my regulars or people I'm just meeting for the first time, I love to tell them about my chimpanzee adventures. If nothing else, they hopefully go to CSNW's website and follow the stories of my 7 favorite non-human primates, or at the very least they google how chimps are different than monkeys later that day. The other day, I was dumbfounded by a 10 year old, and her mother who legitimately shocked me. (Which, if you know me at all; is hard to do.)

*Sally, which is of course a code name, came in with her mom the other morning, and we began talking about the zoo and chimps and how I was building my own sanctuary. A topic that is usually received with "wow! That's so cool, good for you!" or some similar comment. Little Sally's reaction however, was no where close to that. She looked at me, straight-faced, literally no emotion and said "aren't you scared it won't happen? My back up plan is accounting" Followed by her mother's comment "What is your backup plan if things don't work out?" 

I was like WHAT THE WHAT. I had nothing. I spit out some guttural noises before landing on "Oh, it will happen." And Sally and mom took their drinks and went to school.  

Lets be clear. My OCD nonchalantly runs my life. My back up plans have back up plans, I'm always 1 month ahead of schedule on everything, I can't sleep if the house is a mess and I'm always ALWAYS at least 15 minutes early to everything. Now, I'm trying to tame this OCD to a dull roar as I do like to enjoy life sometimes, but there are things I just have to plan for. And when Sally asked what  I would do if this didn't work, there was no answer. I will not settle for this not working. The end. 

How do I know this whole sanctuary thing is going to work? Well, first of all this is ME we are talking about. I am honestly the most driven person I know, and I'm not the least bit ashamed to say it. I take a lot of pride in my ability to see something I want and get it done. Especially with something so close to my heart as building a sanctuary. 

The other reason, and perhaps the biggest reason I know it's going to work is my fear. Now, it's taken me a lot A LOT of years to get fear to work with me and not against me. Fear, regret, embarrassment. All feelings I think are useless unless you know how to work them. I don't even use the words "regret" or "embarrassing" anymore because I have blocked them. Like that weird friend on facebook who just keeps showing up on your feed and commenting on your photos after you swear you deleted them a year ago, I BLOCKED THEM. Think about it for a second: what does regretting something get you? You can't go back and change the past, so why regret anything? USELESS SEE.  
The problem with human beings is we let fear control us, instead of using it as a tool. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared. Shitless. Honestly. Starting a non-profit from the ground up with nothing isn't going to be a cake walk. It's not even going to be a walk. It's going to be a crawl. A long, hard, painful crawl. I lie awake most nights envisioning the worst case scenario, and trust me I've been through them all. I would list some here, but they really just make my stomach hurt. Instead of wallowing in my fear, I move through it. I plan for worst case scenarios, but I don't dwell on them, I make decisions that are tough but I know are ultimately the best ones. Fear will devour you, for sure, but only if you let it. 

So here's my challenge to you, blog-reader. For the next day, for the next week, for the next month, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE; when you are scared of something, do it. Tell Teddy you love him, go skydiving, read 50 shades of Grey because you are terrified of it, tell so and so you want to take a break, DO WHATEVER YOU ARE SCARED OF. That's exactly how I started. Little things. Taking time off when I was so scared I would look lazy. Dying my hair blonde when most people said it would look bad, telling that person that our friendship was poop. It's hard, sure. But nothing worth while comes easy. Now I'm not saying do all the things I did, it's your journey so everything relates to your life, but try to do something that scares you. Whatever the outcome, I'm sure you'll learn something. Use fear as a tool, not a crutch. 

And sidenote, for you mom's out there: PUH LEASE don't strike fear into your kids so early in life! Don't touch the stove it's hot, don't run into traffic, sure. Tell them all about the dangers of those things. But let them dream. Let them want to be actors, musicians, poets, veterinarians. Life is tough already. We don't need to be squashing their dreams at age 10 because it's "risky." LIFE IS RISKY. We don't need backup accounting plans at age 10! We need more mud pies and books at age 10! yikes. We all learn soon enough that back up plans are important, we don't need to rush our youth into accounting, dear lord. NOT ACCOUNTING. 

There, off my soap box. Lets talk about Annie Chimpanzee: 

Miss Annie! (photo by CSNW)

Some salad bowls with grass, an Annie favorite. 

On September 10th, Miss Annie turned 40 and there is no way I could miss it! Annie is pretty shy and has become my "secret friend" as she doesn't like anyone else to know that we are friends. Which is fine with me. I'm in her house, and it's her rules. 

A party plate with some chow, baby oranges and a plum !

Miss Annie enjoying her party. 

Miss Jody munching on some chow. 

Queen Neggie <3 

 A festive snack in the greenhouse. 

And of course the day wouldn't be complete without a walk around the hill with Jamie Chimpanzee + a boot. 

In other news, I am almost don't with Level 3 training. I am serving meals BY MYSELF and need a trainer with me for a few more interactions and then I will be done. Very exciting. On Monday Jamie and I took 3 walks around the hill. I love every second of it, even when it's boiling outside. Seeing Jamie get to walk around the hill with the earth beneath her and the sky above her almost brings tears to my eyes every time we are outside together. I can't wait to experience chimps/great apes/monkeys being outside on their own for the first time. BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN. 

T minus 10 days until Texas for the NAPSA (North American Primate Sanctuary Alliance) conference and I am SO EXCITED. Can't wait to hand out my business cards and meet people who care about primates just as much as I do. 

Also, don't forget to check out sokwesanctuary.org 
Sorry there's nothing on it yet, using the interwebs is hard. And I'm teaching myself. And working 60 hours a week at 2 jobs. And building a sanctuary. And volunteering at a sanctuary. And planning a wedding. And remembering to spend time with my friends. And not eating. 

IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S HOMIES OR WHATEVER THAT SAYING IS. 

love to you,
B.